Many of us love the holidays and traditions, yet often we forget the stress and frustrations that we feel during this time as well. For some people, it might be a time that we are surrounded by people we love, which can lead to frustrations, due to opinions of how we should live our lives, past decisions or anything else that might be something we might not focus on. For others, it might be that we are alone or are missing loved ones. Maybe it’s your first time hosting a party where you are making a Turkey and all the meal, and you are worried that you are going to let the turkey be too dry, or something might not go as planned. Worries and anxieties are usually high during the holidays. Most of us tend to find ourselves in a mode where we want to be surrounded by others, yet find that after we have been around the ones we love for just a bit of time, we need some time to ourselves. Anyway we look at it, holidays can be stressful.
So how do we deal with all this stress and anxiety and what do we do? Well if I had that magic answer, I wouldn’t suffer from anxiety and stress from the holidays either!!! But I can state that there are some key things I do to focus on knowing how to be proactive in dealing with my holiday stressors before surrounding myself with them.
- Prepare prepare prepare!!! Sounds silly right? How do we prepare to be around people we love, and how do we prepare for things they might say? I go in to the situation realizing anything and everything could possibly happen and I just go with it. Does it mean that it doesn’t bother me, no, it means I have learned that for the day I have decided to focus on understanding I cannot change anyone but myself, including the things they say or the things they do, but I can be in charge of MY ACTIONS AND REACTIONS!
- Focus on my family time, and then me time. Remember even though the time with your family is important, so is the time you can find for yourself, and find at least 15 minutes to relax and recuperate. I know it sounds silly, but often we forget that even taking a shower can be relaxing, so remember to take that time to yourself and relax, and breathe!
- Realize you are not alone. Despite what you want to believe you aren’t alone, and more than likely, someone else is feeling something like you are, either a friend, or a family member, or maybe even a parent. Let someone you feel comfortable with know what you feel, and talk. It never can hurt to be assertive and talk about your feelings, as well as share with someone that they aren’t alone either.
- Find a meeting, an activity or support group tailored for you! If you are in recovery, or even if you aren’t, there is something for you. There are many places that hold different support groups, parties for people who are alone, and other activities to help keep the time busy. I know many of us like football, and there are parades, but what do we do when all that is over and we have nothing else to do? I used to live alone 1000 miles from my family and at Thanksgiving I would go watch a movie, to enjoy my time by mapping out what stores I would hit for Black Friday, and enjoyed a small pizza party with my friends at my apartment when watching football and movies.
The greatest thing to remember is it is the holiday, and you aren’t alone, try to make the most of it, and remember, it only happens a few times a year, so cope ahead, and think about the golden rule, is it worth it, will it matter in 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years from now (2-2-2 rule), and how will it affect my life or my relationships? If it won’t be positive outcome, then is this a battle worth fighting? This decision will be how we will learn how to work through it!